We’re almost a full month into In-Depth! This project is definitely not one that I could put on the back burner! My goals for this project are something that I have to work at, each and every day!
My original ideas and plans were a little scrambled at first, so since my last post I’ve gotten a clearer idea of what my project is really about. For my project I will be creating a YouTube channel with a bunch of different videos to help me learn about self-acceptance and confidence.
My Mentor is my councilor, and our conversations aren’t much about YouTube at all! I told her about my rambling and inability to say exactly what’s on my mind, my awkwardness and uncomfortableness when talking to others or in front of cameras and insecurities when seeing or hearing myself. I felt like such a mess with all these issues standing in the way of my “YouTuber Dreams”, but my Mentor really showed me that it’s all connected to personal problems that I’ve struggled with for a long time, and never talked about. It sucks to admit, but I have lot of little insecurities holding me back. I hope in the five months of this project, I will be able to cut myself free of theses ties. With, of course, more help from my Mentor.
My conversations with my Mentor are pretty personal, so I’ll share a little summary of my In-Depth project based discussions.
My Mentor is a teen councilor and after telling her about all the branches of my problems, she helped me notice the roots. I feel a lot more calm after talking to someone who understands everything I’m feeling and makes me feel comfortable enough to share everything I’ve struggled with. Prior to our conversation about confidence, I felt like I have a million and one problems standing in my way. I honestly had no hope in solving all of them! Now? My head is clear. Obviously my social anxiety won’t evaporate over night, but I now have support and a lot of coping strategies. My Mentor does a lot more listening then talking- and that’s probably the most important quality about her, and teen councilors in general! I’ve always been one to bottle up my problems and carry them around, but I realized that sometimes you need to talk it out with someone that you know won’t judge you.
I now have arrangements to go and talk to my councilor once a week, and I’ve planned out a bunch of challenging YouTube video ideas for myself! I know feel comfortable enough, and like it’s about time I film my intro YouTube video! To be honest- I’m scared to make it. But I’ve learnt that cringing at the sound of your own voice won’t stop happening if you avoid recording your voice!
Now, with a clear head and the supports of my Mentor, I’m ready to dive into my In-Depth project head first. Stay tuned!