The Journey Continues.. In-Depth Post #3

It’s crazy how much we have going on! Even In-Depth has remained present, as I’ve been with my mentor almost every week. As I said in my 2nd In-Depth post, my mentor and I aren’t as focused on the whole YouTube aspect. The videos are more of an outlet, where I can measure my growth. It’s hard to notice any improvement this far, but five months is a long time!

When talking about my videos to my mentor, I told her how I was hoping to appear more confident in each video. She then told me “Are you looking to seem confident to others, or are you looking to stop caring what others think?” I thought I should share this because it really stuck with me. Yes, if everyone thought I was confident and amazing, I would slowly become more comfortable in my own skin over time- but wouldn’t it be much easier to just focused on my own happiness and thoughts? Pleasing myself is crazy hard, but it would be a lot faster to please one person, rather than 7 billion. Every day, my focuses get more and more clear. Being a people-pleasing-perfectionist isn’t the easiest!

Anyways, here is my answer to a few questions and some of my goals:

In terms of Mentorship, a few of the problems I encountered were the following-

  • Because I’m going to a councilor who I am paying, I usually go with her flow and follow her lead. Sometimes this causes me to not talk about my In-Depth project specifics, or things I was looking forward to discussing. Usually I forget all my ideas or assume she’ll cover it later on.
  • I’ve also been struggling to get on a regular schedule of seeing her. She’s super busy, and I’ve been relying a lot on cancelations.

Since my Mentor is a professional at communicating and listening, I could definitely try harder to keep up my side of the deal. As I said before, we talk about a lot of personal things, and a lot of my past experiences that I’ve never opened up about before. I constantly find myself being defensive and letting my emotions takeover. So being more trusting and open minded  is definitely a way that I could improve the quality of my mentoring interactions.

I could also write down thoughts, ideas or feelings in the time that I spend without seeing my mentor. This way I won’t forget or leave out important topics or feelings. Not that we ever run out of conversation items or activities, but I think it will also give me a clearer idea of what it is exactly I stress about. I also think I should write things down during my time with my mentor. Even if it’s just quotes, or feelings. This way I could remind myself of her ideals, and that I have support from someone who understands.

So in a nut shell, my goals are:

  • Be more open and trusting, don’t just shut her out when touchy subjects come up!
  • Make sure all my ideas and questions are addressed and not passed or forgotten.
  • Keep hanging in, and remember everything she told me, even if I do go a while without talking to her.

My strategies to accomplish these goals for my next meeting are:

  • Mentally prepare for each session- do something relaxing, make sure not to being my stress with me, remind myself why I am there.
  • Write down/keep a personal journal.
  • Take notes, and definitely ask about what I should do if I am not able to see her for a while.

So yeah! I guess that concludes my third post! I also recently posted a “Week Five” update post about my newest YouTube videos and if you want to check it out, click here! If you want to head straight to the action, click here to go straight to my YouTube channel!

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to subscribe!

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